Greetings, and welcome to my humble website.
Kindly allow me to introduce myself -- I am Sebastian Wren -- commentator, prognosticator, speculator, critic, pundit, and skeptic. I am a man plagued by curiosity -- I want to understand the world I live in, and I'm constantly asking questions. This, of course, drives people around me crazy. I'm a man of talents -- most of them utterly and completely useless in the grand scheme of things. I'm a man of conflict -- and only through conflict can one truly know peace and serenity.
So at least I've got that going for me.
For some reason, I have a Ph.D. in Cognitive Psychology with a great deal of emphasis in the area of neuroscience. I have no idea how this happened. I just kept going to school, and eventually they handed me a degree and encouraged me to leave.
Many years ago, I started out studying the brain and cognition, but these days my career is devoted to understanding everything I can about the simple and elegant act of reading. Most of my current work is focused on how we as a nation could do a better job teaching children to read. I've spent most of my career working for the Southwest Educational Development Laboratory, and I spend my spare time writing for my own website, BalancedReading.com.
So, by day, I'm a mild-mannered education researcher and opinionated pundit and critic who is excessively concerned about things over which I have very little control or influence (illiteracy, education reform, election reform, a plague of monkeys infesting my nation's government, etc.). By night, however, I am transformed into a mild-mannered cat owner with the super-human ability to remove stains from the carpet.
Little things give me undue pleasure. I love old houses, and I have deep respect for quality craftsmanship. I love living in Austin, and count my lucky stars every damn day that I moved here. I love my central-city neighborhood, and have become active with the neighborhood association. I am an amateur photographer. I'm a fairly talentless wood-worker. I greatly enjoy riding my bicycle. I am a mediocre but prolific writer. These are the things I enjoy -- they balance the myriad plethora of things in this world that make me nuts.
Like I said, I'm a man of conflicts -- I'm deep in a very superficial way.
I have a Ph.D., but I dropped out of high school.
I am a scholar, but I am no gentleman.
I am the sort of person who backs into parking spaces.
On first impression, people usually think I'm taller than they are.
I believe that men who are intimidated by intelligent women are sissies.
I enjoy running over plants with my lawn mower.I have cancer, but I'm very healthy.
I'm a vegetarian who eats imitation meat.
I'm a cyclist who drives an SUV.
I can sharpen pencils using only my teeth, a woolen blanket, and a sharp knife.
I have herculean strength when it comes to pinching pennies.
I am faster than a speeding pit bull.
Hiding eggs on Easter makes perfect sense to me, but I find the Easter Bunny perplexing.
I stick my fingers where they do not belong.
I drive to the gym.
My first child will be named Wikipedia Wren.
I have memorized every telephone number I've ever had.
I sincerely believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I think the English have no sense of humour about spelling.
I have a morbid fear of artificial joints.
I have a cunning plan for solving the world's obesity problem that will also lower fuel prices.
I have the biggest hands in the world.
I know first hand that drinking and unicycles don't mix.
Chain stores and restaurants offend me deeply.
My life has never been like a box of chocolates.
I am able to touch other people's toes without bending my knees.
I wish you luck in your endeavors.